Healing Blog

| posted by TransformHeal

Managing people is difficult. Period. There are personalities, moral codes, needs, and then their personal lives to be dealt with. What makes a good manager a great one? One who can find the hidden talents in each of their people and help them grow as individuals and team players.

Having an employee who takes most of your time and is needy is a challenge. Their demand for constant validation can be tiring. If they are criticized in any way they can overact, take it personally and feel misunderstood. They can talk, talk, and talk some more, validating their reasoning or point in any conversation. Actually, it can be difficult to get a word in edgewise with these employees. They can be loud, over the top, and your biggest gossips. However, as you look underneath and around these qualities you can see their finest points that can make your department soar.

Verbal Acuity
Take advantage of their gift of gab. They love to talk. They love to entertain. Put these two together and you have talented speakers to give presentations to clients. Have them stick to the “headlines” and bullet points as you understand their propensity to be long winded. Their gift with words might translate to the written word as well. Test their skills as writers to write speeches, blog, newsletters, and proposals.

Looking Within
Help them find their own validation and inner-authority. They have been conditioned to look outside themselves for their intrinsic value. When they come to you for praise or back up, ask them how they think they did or what they think they should do. Allow them to find their own way – they might make mistakes, but once they begin to know that they are good enough at their job, they will find an inner confidence that will make them shine.

Being Seen & Heard
It is essential that these employees feel seen and heard. This doesn’t mean that you have to listen to every word or agree with them. Have them cut to the chase then use basic communication skills. Repeat what you heard them say. “I heard you say…” As they feel witnessed and acknowledged they will relax their need to validate and justify every point.

Feedback without Attack
As this part of your staff can take any criticism personally, make sure you use the three positives for each negative when giving them constructive feedback. Give them clear and tangible ways that they can improve. Let them know that what they are doing is good enough, but you know they can do better. If you have high expectations for them, explain to them why. How do their positive qualities make their potential exponential?

Make them Mentors
These nurturing and kind employees will bring in the donuts, make sure the conference room is set up for the meeting, and listen to other employees when they are struggling. They will be wonderful mentors of your younger staff. Their ability to be compassionate, giving, and empathetic can also make them wonderful managers. They will be honored that you found them to be good enough.

Working with all personality types is a challenge for any manager. At times it can be difficult to see the hidden talents in any individual. Setting your intention to find and nurture these latent pieces of your staff will take you from goodness to greatness as a manager.


This post was exactly what I needed to hear. I have struggled with the “needy employee” and because of this post, I’ve learned to spin a perceived negative into a positive.

Lindsay Alderman
8 5 2014 Tue
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Tuesday, October 10, 2013 at 20:07 pm and is
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