Healing Blog
posted by TransformHealMany of you have played a team sport some time in your life. Remember the lessons you learned – and then forgot when you ventured into the “adult world” called life? As a coach of teens, I am humbled and reminded by my athletes every day.
It takes a village. We can’t do it all by ourselves and we aren’t supposed to. In crew it takes 4 or 8 people working together – synchronistically – to win a race. In life, it takes creating a support and self-care team to help us through all of life’s many bumps, obstacles, and daily challenges! Our spouse cannot be the only person we confide in. Our general practitioner cannot be the only doctor that we see – especially when we have a specific issue to be addressed. I would argue that Western medicine works BETTER in conjunction with Eastern medicine. Reach out people, stretch yourselves. Find people that you trust – friends, relatives, and professionals! The more people you have on your team that are specialists in your unique needs, the easier your life will be!! Less anxiety. Less stress. More love, joy, and self-love!
Be loyal to your team mates! Just like on any team, you don’t have to be best friends with every athlete. However, you all have each other’s backs. You STAND for one another! It is no different in life! Protect the innocent. Educate the naive. Don’t gossip. Be kind and courteous to all. And STAND for your friends and family! My ex-husband was being “dressed down” by his ex-girlfriend the other day in front of my daughter. I asked her why she didn’t say something to the ex-girlfriend? A simple: “I’m sorry, but it is NOT OK to speak to my father or anyone else that way. We wouldn’t speak to you that way. Thank you.” Using your healthy “No” is an essential part of life. Do you have the courage and trust in yourself and your truth to use your healthy “No”?
Identify your strengths and weaknesses. In a team sport this is what will determine your placement (position) on the field. In life it determines what jobs are best for you, where you need work in relationship, andwhat professionals you hire to help you succeed in life! I have a tax accountant because this is NOT my strength in life. I have a therapist to help me see the “forest through the trees” and get an objective opinion on my version of reality. I have a graphic designer to help me with my marketing pieces. I have an energy worker to keep me replenished. My husband is my balance and I am his. I help him “make a plan” and he helps me be soft and calm in times of stress. It is a strong person who delegates and asks for help.
A strong mind makes a strong body. Positive self-talk is REQUIRED to work as hard as you need to to compete. Giving up is NOT an option. This is the same in life, right? How many times do we allow our negative self-talk (our super ego or inner critic) to sabotage our ability to achieve a goal or live up to our “potential”? Do you get overwhelmed? Stuck? And say: “Why bother…??” As your coach, I would tell you that this voice is NOT your conscience it is your inner critic trying to keep you safe…because if you don’t try, then you can’t fail, right? So, tell your super ego: “‘Thanks, but no thanks.” Write your goals. Write your intentions. Write your affirmations! Remind yourself on a daily basis that: “You can achieve your longings. You are good enough. You have the answers that you need. You are wise, courageous, and strong!” These written positive statements help create a strong mind and one that WILL succeed in life!
Your coach sees your truth– your potential – the person you WANT to be. Who do you allow to see this in you in YOUR life? Who do you allow to see your vulnerabilities, sorrow, anger, and truth? Who do you let see you stumble and then pick yourself up and dust yourself off? Who do allow to see your heart? Your dreams? Do you surround yourself with “friends” that mirror your fears and inadequacies? Those that criticize, humiliate, and pick on you. Or, do you surround yourself with friends that mirror your brilliance. These people are the ones that motivate you to be the person you WANT to be (which is the person you already are…).
Live your passion. Your passion and abilities are what determined which sport you would play as a child. It also determined whether you would be on a team sport! I preferred dance and horseback riding as my two main sports growing up. Other children prefer to work together – as it brings out the best in them and inspires them to grow and push. My son chose the martial arts and gymnastics until he was in high school and then he found crew. He fell in love – with the water, with his teammates, and with the synchronicity. To him crew was magic! This is why he excelled in this sport – because he was passionate about it! It is the same with life! When you lose your passion and life is one big chore, you lose your happiness and joy. There seems to be a prevalent belief that just because we are adults and we need to earn a living, that we have to leave our passions behind (or just keep them in the bedroom). To hell with that, I say! I encourage all of you – I DARE you – to go on a treasure hunt for your passion. Join a club, team, class, or take lessons about something you are passionate about. Whether it’s gardening, animals, cooking, sex, art, or real estate. Play again! Life is too short!
Love to you