Healing Blog
posted by TransformHealFinding The Happy In Your Home – After Divorce
26 September, 2016 in Loudoun Lifestyle
Part of being married is compromising on everything. From parenting styles, the cars you buy, the furniture you purchase and the color of your walls. Most likely you were never given carte blanche. How do you make your home happy after a divorce? Think of this as an adventure. You might have to reduce the size of your home, but now it’s all yours. No more compromises. You love pink. He/she hated pink? Now you get to have that pink couch or chair. Go for it.
Breathe
Please don’t do what I did. I went out and purchased a home during our separation and then when our financial world continued to change and crumble, I had to sell this house and move three more times in three years.Talk about putting even more stress into our already stressed lives.
After divorce, while you are still licking your wounds and trying to find solid ground, you need to find a new place to live. You might want to jump into buying a smaller house or townhouse in the same school district for your kids’ sake. But hold on and BREATHE.
The first few years after divorce you have to go down before you can go back up – financially. It might be best to rent for a while. Figure out how much you have to spend. Give yourself time to move up in the ranks professionally so that you have more money to spend and put away. Cut yourself some slack and give yourself a few years to figure out your new life and have your kids adjust to all the changes. Make sure you have enough space for everyone – but JUST enough space. Keep your living small and affordable. You’ve been through enough stress, you don’t need to create more by having to worry if you can make the mortgage, maintain the house or pay your rent.
Have Fun
I took the paintings and art. He took most of the furniture. Why? I love art. I think it gives a home the personality and energy you want to create in your space. My ex thought I was crazy (what else was new). He was far more practical so this arrangement worked for him. Luckily, we went from a very large home to two much smaller homes so there was plenty for all.
Think of your new home as a blank canvas. What colors do you enjoy? Pastels? Bold colors? What energy do you want to create? A home that is more cozy and lived in or one that is minimalistic and modern? This is your chance to have your personality reflected in every piece of your space. You and your kids get to choose how their rooms look, feel and smell.
Yes, I said smell. Your sense of smell is the most powerful sense you have. You get to decide if you want to have your space smell like your cats litter box or peonies. Maybe you love the smell of the ocean or a pine forest. There are plenty of choices for you all to try.
A Couple of Happy Home Lessons
Happy Home Lesson #1 You don’t need to spend a lot of money to create your home. Target has fun accent pieces like pillows and throw rugs. Home Depot has inexpensive paint and paint brushes. Look for deals. Search the internet. Go to flea markets and garage sales. Take your time to find what you want at just the right price.
Happy Home Lesson #2 If you now have your children alone, make sure everyone has their space and their chores. It’s good for your children to pitch in and understand that they are an integral part of the family unit. Create house rules and hold to them. Healthy boundaries and working together are great life lessons that will stay with them for the rest of their lives. It also makes a much happier home to live in and come home to.
Make your home a happy one after divorce. Enjoy your freedom! Let your freedom bring you happiness as you come home to your space every day. Apartment, condo, townhouse or single family home. It doesn’t matter. Be bold. Have fun. Breathe. Make it yours.
Check out the published article here.
Email Cindy | (703) 966-7620 | transform-heal.com
Life coaching and energy work practice that is focused on helping people find the beauty in themselves and more happiness and passion in their lives. Sessions are done in person or virtually.