Healing Blog

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You do what you know – day in, day out. That is life. Suppose life presents us with a challenge that makes us stumble and fall flat on our faces? Maybe it’s separation or divorce, loss of a job, or a loved one’s death. Can you consider the possibility that you can use these events to look at life in a new way? Do you want to stay stuck face down in the pavement? You do what you know – that’s how you got here. How do you change what you know so that you can get to the good stuff in life like better health, passion, abundance, and joy? As one of my client’s says: “I am a good person with bad habits.”

Here are six steps to help you change your life for the better.

First of all, how is your health? It can be very difficult to feel empowered if you feel like crap – on any level, be it mental, physical, spiritual, or emotional. Even the intention to improve your health can be key to improving your life. More on that in a minute…

Step One: Consider what you want from life. What are your dreams? Your goals? What type of relationship do you want? What profession would inspire you to get out of bed every morning? How much do you weigh? What size do you want to wear? What are your passions? What do you love doing - versus what do you do well? Make lists. Journal. Create a life or a vision board. Decide where you want to be so that you can make the decisions that can enable you to move toward your goals.

Step Two: Decide what you are willing to give up to get where you want to be. Are you prepared to quit your job and/or move out of state? Ready to shoehorn 30-60 minutes of exercise into your busy day? Change what and how you eat? Are you willing to look deeply at your bad habits? Here’s the hard truth: You are the reason why your relationships haven’t worked out and why you’re in a job you don’t love. Here’s the good news: You can change anything you want in your life, if you want it badly enough.

This step demands self-scrutiny so that you can figure out which habits have become obstacles to living your greatest life. One client wouldn’t go to the grocery store right from the gym. This meant either going home to shower and change, re-do make-up and hair in order to run errands and get groceries OR that she would not work out so that she could run errands and then go directly home. You know what she chose. What seems to be a small and silly issue can become the boulder in your path that sabotages your success.

Step Three: Get uncomfortable. If you’re doing what you have always done, you are comfortable. I tell my coaching clients that their job every day is to do one uncomfortable thing. It might be changing the radio station or sampling a new dish at their favorite restaurant. Learning to tolerate the discomfort that accompanies change is essential. Tolerating discomfort is how you know that you are moving forward.

Step Four: Hire professionals who can keep you motivated and on target. Life gets in the way of the best intentions and bad habits are easy to slip back into. At this critical juncture in your life, professionals can make the difference between success and failure. Hire a great attorney if you are going through a divorce, a skilled therapist to get you through pain and trauma, a seasoned life/business coach to teach you skills to focus and achieve success, or a personal trainer for great workouts. Change is hard. Seeing your bad habits for what they really are is difficult. The great advice you get from professionals who know their stuff is priceless.

Step Five: Be a good scout, “Always be prepared!” Plan your menu and make weekly grocery lists. Pack snacks before your work or school week begins. When you make appointments, put them on your calendar immediately. Have your workout bag packed the night before and always include an extra pair of socks and workout clothes – just in case. If the professionals you are meeting with give you homework, be like Nike: Just Do It.

Step Six: Show up at the party. Whether it is a therapist or personal trainer appointment, show up. Show up even if you have a bad day or feel overwhelmed. Especially show up when you simply don’t want to. Why? Remember what brought you to this place: divorce, illness, break-up/separation, depression, new/lost job or any combination and more. Remember that you don’t want to be stuck. Keep in mind that you can take this change and reinvent your life for the better.

You have the power, the courage, the intelligence, and the ability to use life’s challenges to improve your health and your life. This tougher and more courageous option can be scary, but also very empowering. Just remember: you deserve the life of your dreams.

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Friday, April 04, 2014 at 13:37 pm and is
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