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posted by TransformHealIf I Trusted More, I Would Live the Lessons Galileo Taught Me
One of the best gifts my first husband gave me was a horse for my 40th birthday. I hadn’t ridden since I was a teen – but had ridden weekly, even daily, from the time I was 5 until 16. The barn was my sanctuary. Both my parents were teachers, and we really couldn’t afford for me to ride as much as I wanted, so I would muck stalls, groom horses, clean tack, and pull manes to pay for my lessons. Coming from an abusive home, I would rather be there than where the violence lived. I had a knack for riding and being with horses. I was like a tick, I stayed on. I eternally smelled like a barn and loved it. Eventually I chose boys and dance over horses. It seemed the right thing to do at the time.
In my adult life I have had two horses, Othello & Galileo. Galileo wasn’t my first horse, and he won’t be my last. He was a warrior, and I loved him with all of my heart. As most of you have experienced, our animals tend to reflect parts of us – and parts of our life. Galileo was my mirror. We both came from abuse to find love and trust. We were both Divas. Although he would say that he was a Prince. We were both angry only to find our hearts and our softness. I put him down two years ago, and still miss him dearly.
I went to a workshop about trusting deeply. Trust has always been a challenge for me. As it was for Galileo. We understood rage and violence. We understood that there were people out there that couldn’t be trusted. Eventually I realized that I was keeping people out of my life (by trusting no one) that might actually be trustworthy and enhance my life. Life had gotten lonely without trust. I have been working on trust for many, many years and Galileo was my best teacher. At the Trusting Deeply workshop I was asked a question: “If you trusted more, you would…” I started with the basics. I would breathe deeper, take bigger risks, be calm, soften, flow, and be more grateful. But when I dug deeper, I knew that if I trusted more, I would LIVE the lessons Galileo taught me. And, I wanted to share them with you…
Gali Trust Lesson #1:
“I can stay on, no matter what. Fear does not have to unseat me. I am stronger than I believe.”
After I put Galileo to “sleep” my friend, Karen, (and amazing trainer) and I sat for hours telling Cindy & Galileo stories. Every few months Galileo & I would have an “event” that should have ended with me in the hospital. Fortunately, I would somehow remain in the saddle, staring Karen in the face with a look of shock and awe. “Did I just stay on for THAT?” Then we would both burst into laughter and tears. “How the hell did I stay on? Holy crap!” It was usually his fear that brought about the “event”. Most of the time he wasn’t trying to unseat me. He was just being a big scaredy horse. Each event would validate my strength, my courage, my tenacity, and the fact that fear doesn’t have to win and land me on my ass. This is one of my difficult lessons. I would down play my athleticism and attribute my strong seat and leg with luck, my guardian angels, my own desire to stay alive by staying on. But the truth is the truth – I am strong, and it is my life path to stare fear in the face and keep moving forward.
Gali Trust Lesson #2:
Everyone is lovable.
Did you ever not feel good enough? Unworthy? Unlovable? If I was scared, my “go to” place was being a bitch. No one loves a bitch. Right? Wrong. Gali taught me that everyone is lovable. When he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, he was bleeding out the nose from surgery and very docile. The doctors and nurses would tell me what a kind horse he was, and I would start to cry. “No,” I would say. “That means he is in pain and very sick. If he were feeling better, he would be grumpy and a real _ick.” I loved Galileo with his attitude, grumpiness, and superiority complex. He loved me back. Everyone is lovable with all of their warts….
Sometimes we want someone to like us or love us so badly – and they don’t. Sometimes we want someone to see us so badly – and they can’t. Gali taught me that even though some people might not like me or love me, there will be others that do. Everyone doesn’t have to. The people that truly see and hear me are the ones I want in my life. They will be enough. Why? Because everyone is lovable – even you.
Gali Trust Lesson #3:
I deserve to be big, bold, laugh, trust, care, and love.
“Sit down Cindy. Be quiet Cindy. Do you have to laugh that loud? You are ‘too much.’” These were the sentences I heard over and over growing up. They tried very hard to teach me to be small, quiet, and submissive. Luckily, these lessons didn’t stick. When I was on Galileo’s back I had to be as big as he was. I had to be bold. I had to trust him and he had to trust me. I was 120 pounds to his 1,500 pounds. Without my boldness, bigness and trust, he wouldn’t have done anything I asked. He didn’t have to.
He made me laugh as we flew through the fields and over jumps. He taught me that it’s a good thing to be laugh with my whole body, trust others, and open my heart fully to another being. I deserve all that comes with those qualities – I deserve it all.
Gali Trust Lesson #4:
I am worthy of greatness.
When I was on Galileo’s back I felt my greatness. I was powerful. I was strong. I was compassionate. I was passionate. I was focused. I was intentional. I was a student and a teacher. I was humbled that he allowed me on his back. I was honored that he saw greatness in me – because he allowed very few people on his back. He made me believe that I am worthy of greatness. I was worthy of him.
I can hear him asking me now: “What would your life look like if you LIVED in YOUR greatness? How would it change? Would you respond differently? Take different risks?” What if I brought the person from the barn to the business and motivational speaking world? What if I used Galileo’s wisdom to help others be big, bold, trust deeply, laugh, love their inner diva, and live in their greatness? I think I have a new business path – what do you think, Gali?
Gali Trust Lesson #5:
My heart heals others.
When you ride a horse like Galileo, it is essential that the rest of your life goes by the wayside when you are on his back. The rest of the world melts away as you become one with the horse under you. Riding each step with him. Your thoughts become his. Your legs become his legs. Your inner whisper becomes his command. To connect with an animal this way is sacred. Our minds and hearts become one. It is no different than when I deeply connect with another person. We don’t become one, but I am fully present with them. I can breathe in their beauty and their truth. Their fears and defenses melt away. Our hearts open and the magic happens – transformation – healing.
My life coaching and energy work practice is all about my heart. When I am in my heart I can truly connect with others. I can see their greatness. It is my soul path to be in my heart 24/7 (or as much of that as possible). It is my longing to see through my heart. To hear through my heart. To feel through my heart. To speak through my heart. And to love openly through my heart. As I opened my heart to Galileo, he opened his to me. Two betrayed, abused, warrior souls wanting desperately to believe that they deserved true love from another. Wanting to be seen for their greatness, their bigness, their beauty. Wanting to be loved even with their fears, grumpiness, bitchiness, and attitude. Wanting to trust another deeply and be able to rest in their arms. My heart healed Galileo and his heart healed mine. He taught me the power of my heart to heal. He taught me the power of the heart…